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Variety Hits Mailbag

June 9, 2006

Here are a couple of e-mails that I found pretty funny. Never underestimate the ability of people to not pay attention. In the contact section, right below my e-mail address, I have this important disclaimer:

Note: I don't own, work for, or represent any of the stations listed on this website.

Alas, some people only read what they want to read.

Date: May 30, 2006 11:06 PM
Subject: go cocks

You need to play Celine Dion's Goodbye's(the saddest word). You will get some chicks is pumping me up on my poker game! Not sure if you can play it, never heard it before anywhere on radio. Take a chance. I'm an 80s fan, love all those good old songs you guys play, my time. This thing needs to be released. Maybe there is some reason it hasn't been. It is an awesome song.


Lou: This almost looks like something one of my friends from college would've sent me as a joke. I presume it's somebody listening to Steve FM in Columbia, SC, since Steve FM is a play off of Steve Spurrier, coach of the South Carolina Gamecocks. But then again, the author doesn't say for sure.

Or... maybe this writer is trying to give me advice. I can go drive down University Blvd. in Birmingham playing Celine Dion out of my car and get chicks interested who otherwise wouldn't be taken by my 6'2", shaved head, blue eyes presentation. You know, because every woman wants a man who likes Celine Dion.

Date: Jun 1, 2006 3:17 PM
Subject: Question

Hi there!

I have been waiting for a radio station like BOB FM to come! Im writing because I listen to your station everyday and I was wondering if you could help me out. I am a Duquesne Senior and I have my first internship this summer-oh geez! I work at NuGo Nutrition and we sell absolutely delicious nutrition bars…want some for free? I eat them all day long but I love them and I was wondering if you would like to sample some and give me some feedback. Let me know!


Struggling Intern Elizabeth

Lou: Is this for real? It appears that the e-mail was intended for Bob FM in Pittsburgh, but I decided not to bother them with it. If they really want some free nutrition bars, someone from Bob FM just drop me a line and I'll forward you the note.

My favorite part is the "I eat them all day long" line. At least say, "I know most people in radio are paid terribly low salaries, and perhaps this would help subsidize a meal or two for your staff." Okay, maybe that's not the approach to take, either, but somewhere within this e-mail lies a mix of desperation, dishonesty and the reality that there's no free lunch. Or free nutrition bars.

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